I look out my window … I see openness, I see the freedom of the ocean, the passing of clouds, clouds in which I envision images, figures, fantasies, I see the free undulation of free-flowing water – the ocean, the inter-coastal. I see so much, I am so lucky, I am so blessed, I am so sad.
Our lives are not our lives – not as we knew them, not as we want them, not as we have them. I somehow find an inner strength – perhaps the spiritual and astral presence of my parents’ love and their guiding us – my sister, my brother, and me. I am blessed. We are likely all blessed though many, too too many, are losing their will to strength, their will to grasp the possibility of strength to keep going, to survive.
The frivolity – and I use the enormity of that word for the play that is being cast over us, the shadows of leadership that hover and darken our lives – of governance that is pitiful. It is masked in the insidious words spoken of those who falsely espouse that we are cared about that we matter. To them we do not matter, we are not cared about.
I see the faces, the fear, the anxiety, the blanketing hopelessness that is overcoming and overtaking the lives of our loved ones, our children, our friends.
I imagine the frightening reflections that are disregarded and tossed aside by those who audaciously look into their mirrors every day and see no wrong, no badness, no fault – actually no nothing – in and about what they are doing and how they are surreptitiously – some of the brandishly convincing themselves, some admittingly lying to themselves, some sociopathically with a smile on their face simply not caring.
I believe that fate will not forget nor forgive the malfeasance of those unjust, those insulated in their self-righteousness, self-indulgence, self-preservation, and deceitful duplicity and pretext. To borrow the words of Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive…” Perhaps a few of them will be more fortunate, more survivable, from the “fate” that they will have deserved – a fate, that by their initiating through their actions, their deeds, was driven into the lives of those who are suffering and by those who have suffered and suffered so severely to have passed themselves into a world that sees understands and is sensate to their insurmountable will to live.
The nightmarish haze that is silhouetted into our lives today is not of our choosing, not of our making. It falls and insinuates itself around and within us and that is through no fault of our own.
The bombastic words and vicarious promises spewed and alleged thrive within the elitist circle of a self-ingratiating, self-anointed, few. Perhaps like a slithering snake, they might – figuratively speaking, of course – create a circle of their own destruction and become confused by their own odourness and devour themselves unwittingly and become their own prey. They will eventually suffer the consequences of what they have done – they will reap what they sew.